Yesterday afternoon I'm sitting there trying to do some work. Get a call on me mobey, private number, fair enough could be some work I'm thinking. A sultry voice, "Hey you" she says. Takes me off guard, is this one of my female friends trying to wind me up? Or one of those babes who I've recently been trying to spin my web with in the last few days. "Do I know who this is?" she says. Fuck knows I'm thinking, umm, but that voice, it would melt chocolate I'm sure. It turns out it's that Indian bird who dropped me a line in the wee hours of Saturday morning when I was on MSN looking to get my rocks off. But if I'm not mistaken, at the time she's going "I'm not looking for play, just something a little more serious". As I said before, that's fair enough, but that ain't what I'm after!
We end up having a bit of a salacious conversation. She' telling me she's got a raving heat on, and how I sound this that and the other. So I start getting her a little hot under the collar, do this for me baby, do that, as she's lying in bed with de nada on. Then she's like "oh baby you sound so hot, I could really come and meet you" and all this bollocks. So I'm like come on down girl, we'll do this; I'll lick you here, type vibe. She's asking me, what I want her to wear when she comes down. I'm like boots, stockings, crouch-less panties, bodice, with just a coat on over all that. Of course she loves it doesn't she. But she's like oh "I want to meet in some public place to make sure you're not some ass murderer" and shit like that. I'm like "girl, you fucking phoned me, let’s cut out the middle man and get straight to the main course." After a bit of persuasion, not much I'll have you know, she agrees, saying she just needs to eat shower blah blah.
Anyway, couple of hours later, car pulls up by my gate. See her, OK; I remember who you are now. She gets out, big girl, not a problem been there before, not the end off. I catch a glimpse underneath the coat there ain't many clothes going on. How easy it is to get a woman to do what you want them to do? Comes into my place, has a nose around. Comes and sits on my breakfast bar in my kitchen. A little bit of small talk. Then "A real gentleman would ask to take a ladies coat". I'm thinking "Ain't no gentlemen here love" but I know now it's games on." Start at the top, one button at a time. Take the belt off, all the way down. Take her coat off, "Oh my God". This girl is fucking luge, not huge, fucking luge mate. Her tities are popping out of her bodice, but the rolls of fat are lying over her legs, and one of those legs is the size of both of mine. "What the fuck?" I've done big, but this is surely taking the piss. But hey those tities quickly distract me from that thought.
Undo that bodice, “pur-choy”, her tities ooze over her belly crying "freedoooom". I'm a licking, a groping, a sucking, oh yeah baby, what did I say about me and tities. Wheel her over to the sofa, she lies down. For a moment a lump comes up in my throat. It ain't like face wise she's unattractive. OK I would say when those specs come off. But lying there in her boots, her stockings and pants, sorry, but she looks like a beached whale. And that ain't no joke. The first wave of “I'm not feeling this” comes over me. But hey dive into those melons and I'm lost again. Whip off her pants, she's already wet me amigo, my fingers are a sliding, my head gets buried between those huge thighs which I struggle to get over my shoulders. Taste is OK, not to salty or fishy thank fuck, and otherwise she would have been out the door there and then. I have bouts of getting into it, and then all of a sudden when I catch a glimpse of a ream of fat overhanging somewhere, I feel a sense of nausea.
Take her to the bedroom, thinking getting down to it may help. But when she stands, the body shape is all wrong. The ass is big as my back for fucks sake. The cellulite, the bird is far from a bird, more like a hippo. What the fuck am I doing? Lie her down on the bed, poor thing takes a breath unsure to make of what’s going on. Start on the licking again, she's doing me as well. But now it sets in. I do not want to fucking do this girl. More than anything else it is most probably a fucking human impossibility. I'm trying, but my dick is in that limbo land of not knowing whether it wants to get hard, or whether it wants to curl up in front of the TV. I try; I force myself, come on son, and think about the tities. I try, I try. Quick, it's hard, whip a condom on. I knew that was my downfall. See I don't use them, maybe like twice in my life before. I am without a doubt a natural born bare-back rider. True fortune has definitely smiled down on me when it comes to remaining healthy, but I'm thinking in this age. Really I got to do it. With this broad, the choice is, well there is no choice. Slip it on; my cock goes into shock feeling this foreign rubber substance up against it. It definitely wants to watch TV. Try and get cocky hard, ain't happening, rubbing up her, some part of her I'm sure, could just have been fat, but boyo definitely ain’t having it. She tries, squeezing and tugging, that only makes him more nervous. I'm like fuck lets try it the way it’s meant to be. But that thought quickly slips back out of my mind. She goes for it again, all hands to the cock, finally it gets hard, but I can feel the juice wants to get out, it wants nothing to do with this scenario. Another Jimmy goes on, slip it inside her, oh what I sight, am I really going to fuck this heifer. Its there, hell no, cocky and juicy decide this is one game they are happy to loose, my load pumps into this rubber manifestation, an abomination against man kind. But at least its over, well not quite there's the cuddling, talking bollocks, she lies on me like a "teddy-bear" she says. I swear this girl is twice the size of me. Never fucking again son, if it is, you people out there have the right to call me a cunt. Even those tities are not reprieve enough.